Despite half my family being native Punjabi speakers, my comprehension of the language is dismal. This poem by Shiv Kumar Batalvi, however, touched me like Hindi or English poetry never has. I attribute it largely to my being heartbroken at the time, but let that not discredit the poem’s beauty. The translation is rather crude – I am far too inelegant to be a poet – and literal. Here it is:
लोकीं पूजन रब्ब मैं तेरा बिरहड़ा सानूं सौ मक्क्यां दा हज्ज वे तेरा बिरहड़ा।
People worship God, I, this separation from you. To me, it is hajj to a hundred meccas, this separation from you.
लोक कहन मैं सूरज बण्या लोक कहन मैं रोशन होया सानूं केही ला ग्या अग्ग वे तेरा बिरहड़ा ।
They say I am the sun, they say I glow like it. I have been set on fire, the fire of this separation from you.
पिच्छे मेरे मेरा साया अग्गे मेरे मेरा न्हेरा कित्ते जाए ना बाहीं छड्ड वे तेरा बिरहड़ा।
My shadow falls behind me, my darkness lies ahead. Let it not leave my arms, I hold close this separation from you.
ना इस विच किसे तन दी मिट्टी ना इस विच किसे मन दा कूड़ा असां चाड़्ह छटाया छज्ज वे तेरा बिरहड़ा।
The dirt of this body does not remain, nor remains the litter of the mind. I have winnowed this Self clean, all that remains is this separation from you.
जद वी ग़म दियां घड़ियां आईआं लै के पीड़ां ते तनहाईआं असां कोल बिठायआ सद्द वे तेरा बिरहड़ा।
When moments of melancholy arrive, bringing with them hurt and isolation. I pull myself close to this separation from you.
कदी तां साथों शबद रंगावे कदी तां साथों गीत उणावे सानूं लक्ख सिखा ग्या चज्ज वे तेरा बिरहड़ा।
Sometimes it sings shabads with me, sometimes it accompanies me in songs. It has taught me so much, this separation from you.
जद पीड़ां मेरे पैरीं पईआं सिदक मेरे दे सदके गईआं तां वेखन आया जग्ग वे तेरा बिरहड़ा।
When pain fell to my feet, awed by my faith in you. The world came to see this separation from you.
असां जां इशकों रुतबा पाया लोक वधाईआं देवन आया साडे रोया गल नूं लग्ग वे तेरा बिरहड़ा।
When I learnt how to love, the world came to congratulate me. It hugged me and wailed, this separation from you.
मैनूं तां कुझ अकल ना काई दुनियां मैनूं दस्सन आई सानूं तख़त बिठा ग्या अज्ज वे तेरा बिरहड़ा।
I would have stayed foolish, had the world not come to tell me. It has crowned me a king, this separation from you.
सानूं सौ मक्क्यां दा हज्ज वे तेरा बिरहड़ा।
To me, it is hajj to a hundred meccas, this separation from you.